miracle baby

by Millie Williams

Jessica is my miracle baby. She was born on February 24, 1995. I am HIV positive and she took AZT for her first 6 weeks of life. On August 18, I found out my baby is HIV negative. Some day I will have to explain to my daughter that life may be short for me, but I am glad her life will be longer. She was one of the first babies in the Rose M. Singer Nursery to have a PCR. (Rose M. Singer Center is the NYC Women,s Jail on Rikers Island. The nursery allows for 15 inmate mothers to live with their babies for up to the first 12 months of life.) I could not have had any better news. I felt so happy.

Last spring, two weeks before Mother,s Day, Jessica turned yellow. We went to the hospital. I was allowed to go with her, but in shackles and handcuffs. Nobody but God knows the pain of your child being sick and your not being able to hold her. I was so worried that she had the virus. A mother,s job is to worry and a mother,s job never ends. Jessica got better and came back to the nursery. I never found out what was wrong with her.

The staff has been very good to me and Jessica. Having a child in jail is not as bad as I thought it would be, due to the fact that we have supportive people like the nursery staff, who are loving, caring and concerned individuals. So far, I,ve learned to deal with my problems. It ain,t easy but life has its ups and downs. Somehow I,ve managed to come back around and face life,s challenges.

Today Jessica is a healthy, wonderful, beautiful, smart 7 month-old. Her smile is worth millions in gold. My baby and I will be going to a state prison. Hopefully, we will come home soon. Please keep us in your prayers.

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